Last night I was too excited to sleep. I kept bugging my husband with my wiggles and excited bubbling. I knew he wanted to sleep but I had to share with him how I feel. “Tomorrow is my birthday.” I whispered excitedly. “I know” he said with tired but funny grin. He thinks it’s funny that I get giddy on my birthday after all these years. But it never got old for me, it just gets better and better. I know some people aren’t really big on birthday celebration and don’t like to be the centre of attention. Not me.
God gave me this perfect day of my birth to celebrate ME. And I love it all: flowers, presents, cards, texts and phone calls from family and friends sending their best wishes for me and my future. This day I am so grateful to God that He saved me and blessed me with a home, children and beautiful family and community. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for these things daily. Just on my birthday, I deeply understand that to grow old is the privilege denied to many.
My wonderful husband volunteered to get kids ready in the morning and get them to school so I would lounge in bed and have a wonderful morning. Well it’s all great in theory, but when you have 13 years old and 8 years old twins, you never know. And it wasn’t as peaceful and wonderful as it was planned. But in the midst of it all, I chose to let go of perfection and accept the fact that life is beautiful in all it’s struggle and imperfections.
Last few months I’ve concentrated on how to be more flexible and let go of control that brings me dissatisfaction and stress. I am not in control – God is, and His plans are always better. It’s better for me to concentrate on positivity than to lose my joy and peace and be upset. Who cares about full sink of dishes, or some mess or morning is not what I have expected? In the grand scheme of things, it’s not important at all.
We are living through global pandemic. My friends couldn’t join me to celebrate my big birthday because of government rules and regulations. But we are healthy and have a home and food and each other. The kids continue to go to school, thank You, Jesus, because homeschooling is not for me. God bless all the teachers and frontline workers for their hard work and dedication. We all have to adjust and adapt to live in these difficult circumstances.
It’s a privilege and God’s amazing gift to have peace of mind and hope and a means to care for ourselves and others. A couple days ago, I went to the church, (first time in last 8 months, because everything is online now), to be a part of prayer meeting for Fight4Freedom, an organization that advocates for justice and fighting against human trafficking. Four years ago, I partnered up with them because of my life story. I am survivor of human trafficking, but I was saved by God’s grace and I’m thriving.
Now I want to contribute, and to give back. I am an activist for children in crisis and victims of human trafficking. I wrote a book called Miraculous, it’s my spiritual autobiography. For a long time, I thought it was a story of shame, but it’s a glorious story of God’s unfailing love and forgiveness. I know that I am child of God, I am loved, healed and forgiven.
My purpose in life is to love my God, myself and others and to be a loving wife and mother. My mission is to support and encourage the oppressed and with F4F and Victory House assist them in their journey to safety, healing and restoration. My vision is to share my story of forgiveness and second chances, through my book and my testimony, with those who feel like there is no hope.
I know who I am, where I am going, and why I am doing it. God is leading and guiding me, and it gives me a feeling of contentment, satisfaction, and excitement about my future. And it’s ok that it took me 40 years to get here… and if you are in the place of fear, panic, pain and confusion, know that you are loved and never alone. God is Faithful and He will never leave you, never forsake you and never gave up on you. ( Joshua 1:5 ) I am grateful for my life and for my fabulous 40s.