Couple weeks ago, at my Bible studies we were learning about attitude toward sin. We are reading study by Susan J.Heck, “Before the Mirror”, a ladies Bible study on first John. Highly recommend. This is not my first book of her study I’m reading. I really like the way she dives deep into the scriptures and explaining different passages from the Bible. So grateful for two amazing ladies who is helping me to figure out and learn new things about our God in true fellowship.
In this book in chapter 3 is this question:” What is your attitude towards sin?” In the first paragraph she gives this amazing example that made me redefine what I believed about sin. I thought I am mature enough Christian to know the difference but then I’ve realized that my pride deceived me. I am so grateful to get this revelation and I will show how amazingly it applies for my life today.
The first paragraph reads:” The late Dr. Wilbur Chapman often told the story of the Methodist preacher who regularly spoke on the subject of sin. The preacher minced no words, but defined sin as “abominable thing that God hates.” One day a leader in his congregation came to him and urged him to quit using the ugly word “sin.” His reasoning was that the youth would be more likely to indulge in sin because the pastor was speaking so plainly about it. The leader suggested to the pastor that he use the words “inhibition,” “error,”” mistake” or even “a twist in our nature,” in place of the word “sin.” “I understand what you mean,” the preacher said, and going to his desk he took out the bottle. “This bottle,” he said, “contains strychnine. You will see the red label here reads “poison.” Would you suggest that I change the label, and paste one on that says ‘wintergreen’? The more harmless the name, the more dangerous the dose will be.”
I was convicted in my spirit. (The difference between conviction and condemnation is that conviction gives you hope and opportunity to learn, and condemnation gives you burden, of guilt and shame, without the way out, and it’s not from God). I’ve realized how many times I was saying:” Oh it’s ok, it’s a mistake, nobody is perfect…” or “I was wrong, or less right…” What I didn’t realized that I did committed a sin and while I was giving it different name it didn’t created impact on me as it should have. I grieved and repented, grateful for this new revelation.
We talked about fear and how sometimes I get anxious and fearful usually triggered by internal or external occurrence. I had never thought it was a sin. But fear it’s an opposite of trust! The phrase “do not be afraid” is written in the Bible 365 times. Do you think it’s a coincidence that it’s matches the number of days in the year? No! That’s a daily reminder from God to live everyday fearless.
Thursday, February 24/2022, I will never forget that day. I woke up early to get kiddos to school. My husband was already working. He greeted me with:” Russia invaded Ukraine, you better call your sister…” Fear and panic cut into my core. I dialled the number hopping she would answer, and she did.
By the grace of God my family was for now… ok. But I hate war, people are dying and my family leaves 5 hours away from war zone. She told me about chaos in the city everyone was panicking. Huge line ups in stores and banks. Kids were online learning from home and if sirens go off, they had to grab their packed suitcases and run into bunkers!
Their man has been drafted. One of my sisters’ kid panicking/losing her mind from fear, another one, 16-year-old boy, wants a gun and to fight! So stressful and terrible. My sister said that the worst part that they don’t know what’s going on exactly. Information that comes through media is all over the place.
After this conversation I asked my husband to drop off the kids at school because I was so overwhelmed with fear, hopelessness, and helplessness. I had a heavy burden of sadness and grief. I climbed back into my bed and covered myself with blanket… hiding. I know this feeling very well. It’s one of those that would give me anxiety and get me into depression… But now I am so aware of my negative thoughts… Feelings and my emotions were spiraling down, my body and my heart had tension and pain.
“Fear is a sin…” I heard in my spirit. Without thinking twice, I throwed blanket aside and jumped out of the bed. I started vigorously brushing my hair saying:” I won’t let sin steal my trust in God! I am not in control! God is!” By the time I finished my makeup I was so pumped. It took another four days for my feelings and emotions to catch up. One thing I knew if I end up in the hospital or be “checked out” being “marinated” in my negative talk, won’t help anyone. In this times of troubles I have supernatural peace. I am trusting God’s plan and His promises. Living by faith and not by sight.